A new start!

So life is great!
Still got a lot of things going on in my life, school times 3, work times 2 and then my AMAZING boyfriend and our fantastic dog!!!
I have, as stated before realized that this blogg thats here and created for the soul purpose to some how help others. I have still not fully come to terms with what, when, where or exactly How im gonna do this. But im waiting for god to give me a sign.

There are things in life that not I nor God can control, given the fact that life, my life, your life and our life and only by minutes of "days" interacted. The force of this world, the sound and the beat is something far beyond our inner reach.

I am right now, in a growing point and path in my life where I need to "relax" (I use that term loosely though I dont really really like it, but I know its "good" for me :-D ).
Ive got worries, just as the next person, but how I deal with my world is completely up to me!

I am In control of my life and I need to start showing it.
So from now on im not gonna use this blogg for when things get rough and my faith is tested but I need to write on a more controlled state of mind ;-D Sounds crazy, but the simple things are just that, simply crazy!

I wonder,
How much can a person endure before it simply is beyond to much.
I imagine it all depends upon the person and what events that occur as well as the events a person has been exposed to in the past.
Its not easy handeling hardship correctly as it comes so sudden.

I swear, life is difficult on so  many levels that I really dont know which level that is the most difficult one, but I am sure that the levels all together create caos in this little life of mine!
 I guess on some bitter sweet note its nice to know im far from alone when it comes to dealing with trouble, stress and anxiety.
Being a girl at only the age of 22, who really hasnt found her stable ground but desperately wants to is just wat it is, im a 22 year old girl. My life has just begun, my life should be filled with nothing more then joy and laughter  friends and experiences. I guess thats also one of those things that separates me from the rest of the herd. Im not like the norm, well gosh who really is.
I know im on a road where im simply trying to find myself, find something, but its really hard to do when things that are so far out of my controll continue to crash down on me, causing me to have to fight harder, try harder, pick myself up and say.
Jessica its life, get up, move on and stay strong.
Gosh, those words were easy to write.....
So today is valentine and things are not really what they could or should be, but i guess they never are.
Honestly im tired of living for so many people, having to help, remind, encourage etc, when there are not even a had full of those people in my life trying to help me up.
Its not easy to pick yuourself up off of the bottom on the ground but if you leave enough notes plastered on the wall, if you set enough alarms to remind you that its time to do things, I guess it helps.
So today im thankful for, technology to help me remind and remember and books
to take me to another dimension and Dino, the new doggy that has entered my heart and my home. Who already has licked the tears away from my face and been a steady shoulder to huge.