Communication; Dram = Law and order

Song:

If you wanna be somebody...

             What a day! Drama can come from so many ways, it can be internal it can be external it can be necessary and it can be unnecessary.

I come from a very loving family, raised with respect manors and with the knowledge that life isn’t easy and nothing will just come to you.

Today I was packing my bag for practice and realized that my shin guards were gone. Well the drama queen I can be when panic strikes me I thought I lost them, but as suspicion, they were not lost nor stolen but forgotten at the club. Thank the lord.

So I went to the court house and sat in on a domestic violence, quite interesting actually, the man is in custody which in Sweden they call it something along the lines of being deprived of freedom. Well this guy beat his wife and deserves no freedom. Gosh well I shouldn’t say that, nothing is final they have a second court date set and women are conniving, especially when given reasons to be pissed of.

            I got to thinking today, as three “kids” friends of the felon where causing trouble in the court room etc and I caught myself “picking sides”, I realized just that “I had ‘picked a side’” unknowing of what the future evidence will or might show. This going to court thing is going to build my character and force me to grow. As I’m watching the big judge and her three or four judge buddies, (honestly they are to old to be doing their job, but what ever) they don’t make one single face expression no matter what is happening, how horrific or funny. They are neutral, which is what I too have to learn (given the appropriate place and time of course), I’m building my “keep it quiet” ,“keep it to yourself” as well as “keep it in the short/long tem memory” categories, which is great. I get to watch and admire the law process.  

            Most people don’t “know me” (gosh barely I know me) but I do love the brain. I’m at aw, astonished and amazed, I’m so fascinated by it that I can get caught up in it and have a hard time understanding why everyone else don’t share the same feelings with me. Ha-ha-ha ha :-D Well what I as well as many people find behaviour fantastic. I’m deeply interested in the cognitive process of the criminal mind. I do what to evaluate people who what committed a crime and who clearly need help. To place them in the right facility, to give them the opportunity to get help, get “better”. I would love to work in a group where we could evolve profiling into something that actually exists and works. (As of right now its only Hollywood that have cracked this code, but that’s great for them, ratings gone up, but confidence in law enforcement has gone down, people think how TV does it is how real life does it too). So the court proceedings I’m the most interested in, are the once where the crime has well some kind of “meaning”.

  So sitting there watching both him and her today, going back and forth and barely giving the panel of judges any steps forward at all, I found it highly interesting. There is no one in this world that can accurately tell if a person is lying or not, whether they are or will commit an act or not. You can say what you want,  but the only “evolved” piece of equipment that ‘exists’ is still being worked up on and its coming from my neighbouring town Lund. They are in the making of developing a machine that (when an act has already been committed such as murder) they will show words on a screen, put a shower cap on your head and connect it to a computer who monitors your subconscious. And will show the firing signals as soon as you recognize something. So you don’t have the ability to think about hiding or lying.

 But there isn’t a person in this world that is better at guessing about truth telling then you or me, not any one. Out of a stud conducted with students, law enforcements agents, judges and criminals, the criminals had just a few more right at guessing whose lying an whose not. So sorry to bust the cap on the TV show “Lie to me” ha-ha ha.

Well;

 Today I didn’t go to church, because I actually slept well this morning and since it starts at 9 I didn’t want to get up till 8 and even then my body was saying get back to bed.     

I didn’t go to practice, because I'm working tomorrow and due to some obstacles in the study program I wanted to catch up, but yes I did go to the club to see if my shin guards were there.

I tried to go to the book store to pick up the 6 books I need for my new class, but as I got there 15:30 and they closed 15:00 I was in deed to late.

So ill go back Monday, but that’s GREAT cause they have a murder trial then which I hope they have open doors for (probably not, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed) if not there are plenty of other once to choose between. (It does sound crazy I do realize that, but the again I’m me)

So I just finished my lecture. 90 minutes of z tests, standard deviation. blah blah blah yeah. (I’m going to record it onto my mp3 and brain wash myself with his words.) It felt good   so after work Ill be digging my claws into statistics.

Badampapapa I’m loving it

Last words:

Answer, Talk, communicate

Answer, Talk, communicate

Answer, Talk, communicate

Answer, Talk, communicate

Laundry day

Song: Tim Mcgraw-I Miss Back when

What a day, started out with coffee with my love on the couch as usual. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and this night was just as horrible and I strictly blame the shot, it did a number on my arm. I toss and I turn and as I do I hurt.

            The computer program is where the first few hours of my day was dedicated to. Well I had very little choice, Its laundry day. Not the best day of the month but its up there on the top ten list. Usually I ‘relax’ while I do laundry but since I got a tremendous amount of school work, my time is pretty much accounted for. I grabbed two big blue IKEA bags and filled them with colour sorted pies of fabric, and my book. I put  in a load in the machine and took my place on top of a counter.

 (Seriously im so happy this moving this is over, cause these extra loads are no fun.)

About four oclock I was done, Went home to clean up, unload dishwasher and fill it up again and begin baking. Chocolate muffins with extra chocolate chips, just for my man. 30 minutes in the oven so I set the alarm and jump in the shower. Get out get dressed and the alrm goes off, but it’s barely needed you can smell that they are done. So out with the muffins, put a towel on top and so I start making the meatballs, put the pasta in water and the veggies s well. As I’m waiting for the skillet to heat up I make an egg salad (to have on the breakfast sandwich), set the table and start browning the meat. Every thing almost done and my babe walks in the door with a monster energy drink, could things get any better. :-D     

We have a great dinner with as always intriguing conversations. I think its because I always have something to talk about. The mining guys getting rescued and I tell him about the interesting info I picked up while learning about it, and how ive forgotten to tell him some things and how one of the kids came by earlier informing me that he too had made a git for the snake which he will bring by maybe tomorrow. I talk about how frustrated I can be with parents how they should talk to kids more about *conscience* seriously, you can do whatever you want in life but you can not escape your conscience. How frustrated I am about parents being to damn scared to talk about SEX how those words still are taboo (in 2010) its crazy, how parents should want their best for their kids, hurting more then helping ex you wouldn’t let a kid burn themselves on the stove to find out its hot, no you’d tell them about it. etc. I always have something to talk about and I hope it stays like that my entire life. We clean up and go for a walk through the forest right before his dad comes to visit, where we also have things to talk about, im trying to get him to talk so I offer some methods worth trying.

His dad arrives and we get a cactus and a flower as a housewarming gift. Its so sweet and most of all beautiful. We enjoy a nice conversation some muffins and tea before it gets to late.

Well the evening ends with Efterlyst. I enjoy this program and now me writing. SO excited about Friday, work , wooooho. Tomorrow morning church, probably court house entertainment again and then practice :-D

That was this day.

All well that ends well.

Dinner tonight was;  Parsley meatballs pasta veggies and a home made tomato sauce

Lonestar - Mountains
Right now this song fits me like a glove.


So im getting me through  this computer program, but mostly watching this character named Life.
He's just amazing and he too fits the song.

Love: Always unconditional!

Song: 

good morning beautiful brad paisley 

So I updated the apps in my phone and lost everything, I don’t know what it is with me and technology but we don’t go together. I manage to loose everything time and time again. Computer crashing, Memory cards external hard drives persistently formatting both computer and cell phone or password protection fails and formats, its like a never ending story. I got some bad luck. Kind of wish it was possible to keep some things from the past, but all these environmental people really love watching me suffer.

(Do I hope I’m not alone, well maybe I do, misery does like company, or what?)

 Well woke up next to my love to a day filed with excitement!!!

First I’m of to Lund and sit in court and watch some real Law and Order.

I ended up following a case about Fraud. An old Lady and her cleaning lady, but this lady is old and it looks more like she forgot she spend money on family and misplaced her jewelery.

Then I got some lunch at my favorite Swedish fast food place while downloading documents for this computer program. Time flew by and I had to go back to court and sat there till’ my butt got numb ha-ha, Not really but until it was flue shot time.

So a few hours later I did it, I got it and now my arm is dying, it’s numb and heavy, but she did say it could happen, wonder if it was more of a certainty then a might.

Now I’m at the library and time has just flown by me all day, which I only find to be a good thing when you are bored and don’t enjoy what’s going on or where you are, When I’m having fun, I want to time to slow down so I can get more out of the day.

So school is swamping me, this computer system is interesting but I got all this reading and learning to do as well, so my mind is overwhelmed.

( I think, or is it…. I do enjoy living under pressure; guess that’s the overwhelming speaking)

Gosh I don’t know where the time went, really, its already time to leave for practice. So ill write more in a bit.

So Practice was great, I enjoyed it. It feels great to get to punch/shake it off. Its nice when you feel the work you’ve done after and tomorrow I’ll feel it even more. :-D Love it

Love:  When I say I love my boyfriend and that I know he is the one, I could not know myself any more. He never stops amazing me!!!

He comes to pick me up from practice, when he probably has better things he could be doing, carries my bag that’s filled with, equipment and trust me that weighs on its own but also had two school books and a computer. I asks me about my day and listens to me ramble and whine on and on, Its pretty much preaching.. ha-ha. I come home to find the mail picked up of the floor (Papers for my philosophy class that starts next week) and I walk in the living room to find this!!!!

 The rose above the card is a fake :-D

We feed the kids and I jump in the shower and he makes me dinner, cause he knows I want to watch Desperate Housewife’s!!! He is THE BEST thing EVER!!!

I’m very lucky!

Dinner: 

Salmon ,rice and homemade sauce.

 

Food for thought:

I wonder if judging is nature or nurture. At times it seems to come so naturally to people, which is why I’m leaning more to the nurture side.

If its taught then can it be changed?

What does it take to change a persons wrong thinking?

Wrong, yeah I know who’s to decide what’s wrong or right in a world that’s simply a state of mind, people living in individual bubbles who are forced to communicate on mutual grounds.

 I bet you have heard someone say "oh no that person isn’t like that; that person would never do that"  

Well have you ever been to a court house?

You will see people just like the once you stand behind at the grocery store, But here the only difference is that they have committed a crime and are in a place/ a building to be sentenced. (Here in Sweden the majority of court cases are open for the whole public to join in on)

What gets under my skin are people who say "Yes, they have always been that way; They wont change; once a __ always a __"

People don’t have the ability to see what people really are all about nor are they able to know what people are really capable of doing. It is still an unsolved mystery, well until I’m legally a practicing forensic psychologist.

So quit judging people by who YOU think they are!

*Come on, the only thing in life that is constant, is that nothing is constant.

school makes me a coin

Studies, school....
 If your day started out clear from problems, you can always get completely confused by reading your literature material. 
So today was suppose to be the day we got our second assignment, but I guess that’s not the case right now. 
I wonder about all these things I’m suppose to focus in on, what am I suppose to learn more about. I have three books (For this class right now) and we are reading from beginning to end and then there is a new computer system to learn, so I can analyze. Even though I spend every weekday studying, every weekend reading, it doesn’t feel like I'm getting any closer to where that 'goal' is. I’m like a coin, one side knows I’m learning (something and some time at least) and the other side feels like I’m just reading, not learning anything, fighting a lost cause. What really puts my panties in a twist is the fact that I don’t have time to review the material as I would like, and even if I’m to review something which of all these ‘important’ things do I choose. What I find interesting and important, isn't what the professor is after.. (So it feels at times)Or… 
I wonder if these distance classes are made to mess with people’s minds. I have conversations with me, because I know what I’m talking about and I’m all alone. I can write something in the forum but by the time I get an answer I can’t remember why I was interested in knowing the answer to my own question. I get confused... This class has students from all over the world. And I’m really interested in doing a study on myself to see how "this" will affect me 10 years down the road.  Will I be completely crazy, will I not have budged a bit in my cognitive ways or will this some how some way magically just pull itself together with me as the middle man (ok woman). Maybe all this is shrinking my brain, because I don’t feel like I’m learning all that much, most of it is just too damn obvious. Just reading reading reading, and some lectures which also serve ample purposes. To get you to read the material, to review the material, to prepare you for the material or to inform you about things you cant find in the book material.... Well today I read a whole chapter and managed to quit about 15 pgs in to the second one, before my brain and memory started bailing on me. I was so prepared to start the new assignment but, that’s not the case for now at least and today is the lecture-day Monday, woohoo. well well. Isn’t life great? Guess ill work on this damn computer again.
To be an 80’s child I wish I could get away from all these computers, this technology. I miss when we wrote mail and called each other and when people got to meet, talk and discuss. Now the World Wide Web has a monopoly on EVERYTHING.
I had a, or should I say, a few brief phone conversation with my soul-mate today. The GPRS system didn’t like us so we had to fight for the right to speak a few times. Ha-ha well due to our problems we started talking about bird mail. Man oh man; Think about it, what if that was still a possibility. I would love to have a bird come with small messages or you know instead of the mail man.  Well now days, you barely get mail any more, you get spammed. I have 5 emails, different accounts different names. No matter how many times you press that spam button for or from that mail address, the next day you have new mail. The funny thing is that once I pressed the spam button on my mom and her account got shut down in a matter of minutes and she has not been able to access it since. Where is the spam button that actually works when you really DO need it? Everything is done by the email now. Gosh my bills don’t even come to my apartment anymore, they go to the internet bank, so what if my internet doesn’t work, and do you have any idea how many late fees I would be stuck with. Ha-ha and the funniest thing of all I think is actually about the Swedish system. See everyone gets paid at the end of the month (yes only once a month) and this is a thing everyone has, everyone. But do you know when they send out your bill, when the company wants their money? Well of course before you have your money. Seriously talk about stupid. This system is built on, “I have access and I the government do check your bank account” you would think they would have, when you get your money and when you can pay your bills go hand in hand…. Guess that would deprive the country and companies of stealing those few extra dollars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuyzk2K0J0o

Weekend of week 40

So this weekend (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) had a lot to offer.

Friday I didn’t feel so great, emotions of sadness were on me like a bee on honey, for reasons unknown. But as the day progressed so did my feelings toward the day. And the day ended successfully with baby pictures. The neighbour kids had a baby boy/ brother. A very proud yet again big brother and first time big sister came with smiles upon their faces and pictures in their hand. Their mom had a little baby boy at noon.

The might ended cuddling in my boyfriends arms to the movie Oceans, which by the way was a great movie, given you appreciate life and the oceans that is. And before the end was reached I was having a battle between eyelids and mind, resulting in eyes shutting and me sleeping.

Saturday was a great day. We woke up, had nice breakfast and then off to empty trash out of the boyfriends “old” apartment but most of all basement. We managed to fill the Volvo with plenty of things most that was his but also items others felt like pounding of to him. It’s always nice receiving extra trash. See I would have left the items there but he is too good hearted so we grabbed it along and of to the recycling central we went. I don’t find any joy in running around like a chicken with no head  with trash in my hands trying to locate the right dumpster to dump it in, but it got done and he did more the half on his own (He does know more about recycling then I do). This country is definitely after trying to save the planet. I do have to say they are doing a damn good job at it and a lot of it has rubbed of and on to me.

    After taking a nice sightseeing tour we got home, got ready and I baked a chocolate cake for the guests we would receive later on. The boyfriend’s cousins were coming to visit and it would be my first time meeting them. Talk about a down to earth easy to get along with family. They are by far on the top of my list when it comes to fantastic people to meet and socialize with. We had great conversations and when I say great I mean GREAT, not only were we able to learn about one another but we had mutual ground to stand on in this enjoyable conversation. Time slipped away fast and the night had arrived. As they left our apartment I felt smarter and a lot better after having had the honour to meet them.  (God bless mother earth)

 As the night was coming to an end the stomachs were starting to rumple so I made beef patties with potatoes and sauce with of course a side of salad. We ended the evening with a quick but successful look on the w w w  to see if I class that my hubby was interested in applying for existed and yes yes in deed there was one and laughter to the TV show The marriage ref. 

Tacksägelsedagen aka Sunday a day to give thanks.

It started out rough but ended smooth.

It’s crazy how some things can just set me of. I can definitely feel my hot blooded temper boil at times. I have that type of personality where I'm outgoing, forward and I speak what’s on my mind. I don’t have that ability to keep things to myself, to bottle up my thoughts and feelings or to not say anything at all. I really can’t. In some cases, to some people this might be a problem. I’ve thought about it, what if I were to just be quiet when people are obviously making a mistake, or I see them just doing something the hard way that could so easily be done in an easy way. I can’t stand along and say nothing I just can’t. I have one of my many mottos which I live by, which pretty much explains me and why I speak. 

            Not to react is to accept.

(As you might guess this morning started out rough but this set back was nothing big)

 We went to Lackalänga-stävie church for their sermon. It was beautiful. The church was decorated in autumn colours with flowers, herbs, pumpkins, veggies and baked goodies. It’s a day to thank Mother Nature for the fertile soil she has provided us with and some of the local farmers shared what they had been able to grow. It was peaceful and nice. I honestly enjoy peace of mind and heart.

Once the sermon was over and we exited the church the fog that was there when we got there was even thicker. We went home to hang up some paintings which we did right before we drove off again. We went to IKEA. We bought a laptop table and some things to the baby and the family. We swooped by the gigantic mall that’s in the neighbourhood. We went in and a few window-shopping minutes later I see a girl with eyes that are about to fill up with tears running. I bend down on one knee and ask her what’s wrong. She starts to cry and in between her heavy breathing she says “I can’t find mommy” I asked her name and how old she is and you can tell she’s upset. My loving boyfriend hears the information and asks me if we should try to get someone. I asked him to try to get help, I remain standing with the girl and he begins trying to get help, I see him walking from store clerk to clerk and they all shake their heads. I try to calm her down by talking about her nice pen in her hand and the colour of her scarf, she manages to catch her breath and I’m able to ask her some more questions. Do you remember the colour of the store or which way mommy went? But she’s to shook up. I see my boyfriend stopped just a few stores a head, which is at the empty information desk. I tell the girl we are going to go over there and mommy will come in just a few minutes. He manages to call the security office and ask them to send over a guard and so they did. He comes and grabs the girl, takes her behind the counter. He says thanks and I tell him I’m not leaving until mom gets here. (I don’t have any reason to trust him) I keep pepping the girl; tell her she is really good and that it’s cool to sit behind the big desk in a big chair. It doesn’t take long after the announcement has been made that the parents and sister come walking.

    After looking at watches and buying perfume we left, well mostly because the announcements told us to get out.

So we left the malls, with less money in the pocket but more peace in heart (always feels good doing something good) and drove to my great grandmas. We bought some baked treats and off we went.  It was late but this amazing woman is not like most 90 year old woman, first of all her only problem is that she has bad balance and sometimes falls. She has a sharp and quick tough and is all there in her mind but she dislikes old people like you couldn’t even imagine. So being in an old people’s home, you can see the problem. Well about 2 hours later, coffee treats and lots of talking, it’s about time for us to leave. We make it out of there with one Christmas church and a Christmas light. 

Live Love Laugh Forgive