so i am officially seeking employment.... 

since i flunked last semester and am too far down under the ground right now, still not back to me I had to decide to quit school.

Guess god has his plan for me but right now i dont see it..

What did I do in a past life or world to be delt these cards in life... Im notr saying they are all bad or have been but as im sitting on the devils curb with the devils water beneath my feet im tempted to put a toe in I cant but help and ask " have I been through as much as I make it seem?" or is my life just as anybody elses?

How to compare how to do and ask the unabletoanswerquestions, I guess I cant ask that kind of question, but why God feel he had to test my strength , why did he fel I had to experience this, what is there to learn... I cant see it right now but I guess its as alot of other things in life youll get the answer to the question once the test is passed up to the teacher, post-hoc .... 

 

Well right now I am selling all of the things that bring me down such as the ex boyfriend stuff, the past few guys havent been anything to keep memory's of or keeping their spirit around.

 

So, im dropping out of school, not what I want to do but right now I cant afford to loose my CSN privilege, but most of all I need to  find myself... I need to get back to me its been about 6 months that things have been horrible and if Im gonna have any future with any strength I have to give up or loosen the tie just to be able to correct it and tighten it when its to my perfection.

I just hope I dont loose track of my self and my life, I have heard of it happening, if you drop out you dont go back, life is constantly changing and I dont want things to change to the point where I cant get myself back out of it, im thinking along family lines, I want to live my life to enjoy my time, but that leaves a lot of free time, well guess Ill find out what God wants me to do and go...

 

Im selling books, his stuff and ex bf gifts buy buy space takers....

 

Yesterday the Doggy was home alone in two sessions, first he played with rocks from the flowerpot and the second he found playing cards tasty. But that is still very good and im a very proud momma except that he ran away from me and almost got hit by a passing car due to his "homeboy" was across the street... well well they crossed the road so he wouldnt get killed, very nice of therm to do and im very thankful.

 

Im taking ADHD medication and on the evaluation list for it, I am hoping for the best!

I talked to my therapist and told her where I want my focus to be and we are going to begin this exposure therapy in a few weeks which was placed on hold due to the court and bs that j***a** brough on. 

Well that is some information for now.